Ian Barry

Its been over a month since you passed, but sometimes it still feels like yesterday. I am never going to forget that morning in the hospital, I am never going to forget how familiar your hand felt even after you had left your body. I am never going to forget seeing your Mom and Dad, that was the hardest part.
Some wounds never fully heal, and in a way I am OK with that. I don't want to ever stop hurting when I think of you. The hurting is the thing that makes me really appreciate who you were and what you meant to me. it makes me want to be more like you. Its a beautiful pain you cause me, Le Friend, I am blessed to have known you and I am blessed to carry you with me still.

 I remember the river,
And slipping into it while
Screaming at you
Through the snow.
I remember you laughing
As you helped me out

I remember your birthday
When I fell onto you in the ice rink
And my skate split open your finger;
How we had to bandage it up and leave,
And you wouldn't talk to me in the car

I remember the flower fields
And crouching beneath reds and yellows
Hiding from our parents,
Giggling as they called our names

I remember New Years
When we drank Martinelli's
And stumbled through the yard with sparklers,
When midnight felt like staying up until sunrise

I remember that week
You were obsessed with digging holes
And I helped you move dirt in your backyard
Without ever questioning why

I remember when the waves were big
And I was too afraid to go out
So I watched you from the cliff

I remember the flannel you gave me for my 18th birthday
I still wear it sometimes
even though the buttons are broken

I remember when you cried
After I threw your hat into the lake
I didn't know then how strange the world makes us

I remember your hand
And how it felt when it pulled me from the river
I remember how it felt in the hospital too
I can still feel it now